Transition Dynamics

Seasons of Change

The Paradox of Being in the Middle of Nowhere

Last year a car commercial caught my attention.

As a Mercury Mountaineer drove through a remote mountain scene, a voice said:

"You can find yourself in the middle of nowhere
or in the middle of nowhere you can find yourself."

As I listened, this paradoxical word play brought to mind the experience that's at the heart of the Seasons of Change Winter Solstice.

Let's take a look at each phrase to get a better feel for this paradox.

"You can find yourself in the middle of nowhere..."

This phrase brings up an image of being in the wilderness, far away from the usual landmarks. The location may feel barren, empty, or uninhabited. In a sense, there is no "there" there.

If you take it another step, you might feel lost, not sure where to go next or how to get out of where you are.

People in transition often feel as if they are in the middle of nowhere.

• After the death of a loved one.
• In the midst of a divorce.
• During the quest for a new job or career.
• After moving to a new city.
• After being diagnosed.

It can be a scary time. The confusion. The fear of the unknown. The deep sense of loss. The indecisiveness about how to move beyond this nowhere place. It's dark. It's lonely.

"...or in the middle of nowhere, you can find yourself."

Or...when you find yourself in the wilderness, you have the opportunity to experience new insights about who you are and where you are going. This option has the energy of a vision quest or a retreat. Being in this new place in the middle of nowhere is like traveling to a different land. The contrast between you/your life and this new place gives you opportunities to make new insights, new perspectives, and new awareness.

Eleven years ago I returned from a three-week trip to Egypt. I had traveled to a place I'd never been before and seen things I couldn't have imagined--the immensity of the ancient monuments, the once in a life time experience of climbing the stairs to the inner chamber of the Great Pyramid before dawn, the chaos in the streets where donkey carts, taxis and buses competed for space, the sights and smells of the small town markets, and, oh yes, the series of marriage proposals I received as a result of my blonde hair.

While I was in Egypt I was a sponge, taking it all in. When I returned home, I found myself struggling to integrate all I'd seen and experienced with my day to day life. For a time it was as though I'd lost all of my bearings. To this day I can't fully articulate what shifted within me as a result of that trip. The shifts and insights continued for months as I integrated my experiences into my perception of myself and my life.

The shift in space/time that happens when you enter a new land allows you to make the leap to a new vision of and for yourself.

Does being in the middle of nowhere trigger feelings of being lost or a sense of wonder in you?

Indigenous people created a ritual space to help them handle the dark days of winter while waiting for the shift to increasing light. In the process they devised a way to hold the darkness so that it created a space of profound insights and hope.

Within The Seasons of Change, the Winter Solstice represents the time of darkness, the dark night of the soul. At first people feel lost, afraid, worried, even frantic because they can't find a way out. It's when they surrender to not knowing the answer that they relax into the darkness and merge within it in a way that changes how they see themselves.

With that shift comes new perspectives, insights, and ahas. These sparks of insight are the reward for entering into and making friends with the dark unknown. Over time these sparks join together to illuminate a new vision for your future.

Let me give you an example. Several years after my dad died I was still struggling with his passing. I was angry at him for leaving. I was fighting his absence and focusing on what I was missing because he was gone. Then one day, as I was brushing my teeth as I recall, I had a new spark of insight. In his absence he was helping me. He was my partner in sharing what I had learned about transitions with those that needed support. From that moment on my relationship with his memory shifted. The deep gratitude I felt instantly melted the anger within me.

How can you make the most of your "middle of nowhere" moments?

1. Give yourself time and space to be still.
   
   
2. Let go as best you can, of your need to know the answer. Shift your emphasis to knowing you don't know right now.
   
   
3. Stimulate your soul...with poems, quotes, books, mediation, deep conversations, walks.
   
   
4. Ask yourself new questions. Then, stop to listen.
   
   
5. Sit in a space of willingness to see new images, hear new ideas, gain new insights, shift your perception.
   
   
6. Record what you discover--take your time to allow various layers of insights to come to you.

Use what you discover to rewrite how you see yourself. Sometimes just one insight can shift not only how you see yourself, but how you want to live your life. This new thought becomes the kernel of the Spring to come.

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